Be kind to yourself!
Do you find yourself harder on yourself than you are on others? Do you tend to give others the benefit of the doubt while holding yourself to an impossibly perfect standard? Have you ever considered the positive impact that practicing more self-compassion could have on your life?
At Beeing Well, our mission is to nurture both your body and spirit through holistic care. While external support is valuable, one of the most significant actions we can take for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being is to cultivate self-compassion. Although it may seem like a straightforward concept, it can feel unnatural and requires dedicated effort to develop.
According to Kristin Neff, PhD, a pioneering psychologist in self-compassion research, self-compassion involves:
Being kind and understanding toward oneself in moments of pain or failure, rather than being harshly self-critical.
* Recognizing one’s experiences as part of the broader human experience, rather than feeling isolated by them.
* Holding painful thoughts and feelings in mindful awareness, rather than over-identifying with them.
We might believe we are being “truthful” with ourselves, but is that always the case? When we learn truth, whether from sacred texts or wise individuals, it often brings a sense of peace and lightness. Do we feel that same peace when we tell ourselves, “I’m so stupid. I should have done better!”? I certainly don’t. Perhaps that feeling is a good indicator that what we just told ourselves wasn’t entirely true.
One approach to cultivating self-compassion is to use the acronym ‘RAIN,’ which is a series of questions and statements to ask/say to yourself. I’ve found it to be a good structure to help me practice self-compassion.
*Recognize:** What emotion are you feeling right now? For your case, think about how it makes you feel to have squandered your own potential and to have a less than spectacular resume.
**Acknowledge/Accept:** Say to yourself, “I acknowledge that I feel this way. I accept that I feel this way.” If you feel like you can’t accept it, that’s okay. Acknowledging the feeling is enough.
**Investigate:** Ask yourself these two things: Where do you feel that emotion in your body? Why do you feel this way?
**Nurture:** Say to yourself, “It’s okay for you to feel this way. You’re allowed to feel this way. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. I love you, [insert own name here].”
You can even add a little self-hug! I hope this helps you feel like the wonderful person you are.